Blog 1: The Filipino Man

When I was a young boy, I believed that you needed to be tough, know cars, and know basketball in order to be called a "tunay na lalake". My uncles were always sported this masculine aura. They would always watch sports in the television, basketball or UFC, boxing, action packed mpvies - every testorone filled movie or show. They would never watch dramas or tele-novelas, in fact, they hated it. They always knew how to fix cars or motorcycles, even appliances. My former male classmates when I was in elementary to high school would all know how to play basketball, anyone who does not would be called "bakla" or be regarded as "di tunay na lalake". Sometimes, they would also start fights to impress others. This are just some of the behavior and beliefs or myths of what a Filipino male should be.

I found an article called  Ten Fears of a True Filipino Gentleman written by BESTLiNK in a site called BCP PH. The author of the editorial stated some of the supposedly common fears of a Filipino male. Most of them are also patriarch in nature, with some that can also be considered fueled by testosterone such as the fear of being impotent. Almost all of them imply that the male should always be the dominant one in a family or in a relationship.

"5. PREMATURE EJACULATON
A true Filipino gentleman fears of premature ejaculation. It seems that it will lessen his worth and will imprint a negative impression on his partner— ‘that he could not satisfy her biological need.’ To avoid this fear, one has to overcome his inferiority complex over his father. He needs also to consult a psychologist.
4. LOOKING WEAK
A true Filipino gentleman should be strong and should be confident. Men really project that they are all strong. This is also added b the pressure of the society. Thus, many men, if not all men engage themselves in sports and several manly activities like gym, shooting, fencing, karate, and basketball.
3. FEAR THAT HIS WOMAN WILL CHEAT HIM
A true Filipino gentleman fears of being cheated by his partner. “Ayoko kung maloko.” In reality, in terms of relationship, it is always the man who is affected most that the women. To handle this weakness, one has to learn how to handle his emotion. Seek friends’ advice and look for a psychologist.
2. DEATH
A true Filipino gentleman fears death. Our culture tells us that we sympathize a lot when a man dies in a family. This is true most especially when a breadwinner dies. Besides, having left undone important manner before the final curtain comes is truly fearful for it will remain an Herculean task to his family who is left behind. And also for the fact that death is unknown to us.
1. BEING IMPOTENT
Fear of not rising on an occasion is a number one fear of a true Filipino gentleman. This is also added by the culture that a true gentleman must have a baby. His self worth therefore must balance his sexuality. Consult a doctor once this is happening to you." said BESTLiNK.

Even premature ejaculation is stated as a fear of a Filipino man. It is implied that a Filipino man should always be good in bed. A Filipino man should not be weak or impotent the article says. It even goes far to say that every Filipino man should have a baby or an offspring. This maybe stemmed from the Philippines' religion of being a Catholic which propagates the "go forth and multiply" verse from the bible. While some others would really agree on these myths of being a Filipino man, it can be damaging to say the least to others who do not sport or live by these set of rules. 

In another essay that was posted and titled I am a Filipino by the late Carlos Romulo in the site Carlos Romulo, Romulo wrote that being a Filipino man, for him, is a heritage. It was passed down by a generation of hardworking ancestors. In his essay, he also wrote some historical male figures that fought for the Philippines. 

"That seed is immortal. It is the self-same seed that flowered in the heart of Jose Rizal that morning in Bagumbayan when a volley of shots put an end to all that was mortal of him and made his spirit deathless forever, the same that flowered in the hearts of Bonifacio in Balintawak, of Gergorio del Pilar at Tirad Pass, of Antonio Luna at Calumpit; that bloomed in flowers of frustration in the sad heart of Emilio Aguinaldo at Palanan, and yet burst fourth royally again in the proud heart of Manuel L. Quezon when he stood at last on the threshold of ancient Malacañan Palace, in the symbolic act of possession and racial vindication." said Romulo.

It can also obvious in the article that it is influenced by Patriarchy. All of the historical figures that he mentioned was male. Aside from that, it is also implied that a Filipino man should always be ready to strike or to defend, to be violent towards his enemies. This could also be a reason as to why more of Filipino males tend to get into fights more and tend to be violent in nature.

These set of examples and myths can prove to be harmful not only to males, but to society also in general. If a Filipino man is always expected to do something or behave in a certain way, he is pressured and is obliged to stray away from his original disposition in life. Any one who does not is shamed by the society and his community. It does not have to be so that way, we must understand that every individual is unique. We can't all be the same. We should learn to accept the differences of others, it isn't always black and white.