Blog 5: Rape Culture

Ever since I was a child, I would often hear instructions for girls to not go when it is already dark or don't dress inappropriately. My logic about these continuous stream of reminders to females is that so that they won't get raped. I thought that if they wear sexy clothing or if they show skin, then they are "asking for it". I never questioned that logic, I would even remind my girlfriend not to wear sexy clothing if I'm not with her. I never realized that I was participating in Rape Culture. 

I found an article explaining what rape culture is. The article is titled A Gentleman's Guide to Rape Culture written by Zaron Bumett III from the site Medium. Bumett explains thoroughly what rape culture is and why each man is part of it, even without knowing initially. He even states examples of what rape culture is. He also relates with the shock of knowing that all men are part of rape culture.

"You’ll quickly find that rape culture plays a central role in all the social dynamics of our time. It’s at the heart of all our personal interactions. It’s part of all our social, societal and environmental struggles. Rape culture is not just about sex. It is the product of a generalized attitude of male supremacy. Sexual violence is one expression of that attitude." said Bumett.

Once I read the article, I realized that I felt the same way as the author. I was surprised that I am part of rape culture and I didn't even know why. I thought rape was just about un-consented sexual intercourse or forced sexual intercourse, but it is really larger than it all. It's kind of amazing yet disturbing to realize the simple social norms that goes around everyday is the core part of rape culture. Although I doubt it that even with this kind of realization, the society will still find it hard to adjust.

I found an article titled Rape Culture is Real written by Zerlina Maxwell in the website of Time. Maxwell gave out examples of rape culture that is happening in the society. She even stated her experience when her roommates boyfriend raped her a couple of years ago and how people close to her didn't even support her. She even started a Twitter trend #RapeCultureIsWhen and got numerous tweets from people who experienced rape culture as well.

"It’s no surprise that we would refuse to acknowledge that rape and sexual violence is the norm, not the exception. It’s no surprise because most of us would rather believe that the terrible realities we hear about aren’t real or that, at least, we can’t do anything about it. The truth is ugly. But by denying the obvious we continue to allow rapists to go unpunished and leave survivors silenced." said Maxwell

Maxwell states one of the harshest realities society holds; rape culture is the norm. We treat is as a normal run-through of life. Yes, it happens frequently, but does it make it normal? Shouldn't we stop for a second and educate ourselves of what is really happening? Victims go unheard, and worse, they are blamed and shamed for what happened to them even if they really had no motive or intention.

After reading, studying and listening to lectures about culture rap, I still stand by the decision to restrict my girlfriend from wearing sexy clothes. It isn't because I would blame her.But given the information and realization that most of the people don't realize rape culture, it's more risky and dangerous to let a female, let alone my loved one, walk sexy and free in the streets full of men who don't realize and don't rationalize what they are thinking and what they want to do. I would only prohibit her if and only if society changes 100% for the better.